Jono and the Giant Apple: Day 2... apartment hunting

Today was dedicated to finding an apartment (or apatuh, in Konglish). What I didn't know is that the day was intended to be dedicated to International Student Orientation. As a result, I missed the bulk of the orientation (including icebreaker sessions, sessions on the fundamentals of the American Classroom and various meet-and-greets). Instead, I booked a laptop configuration session, cancelled my university housing and signed my new lease.

The day started with me waking after a hellish night's sleep in one of the least comfortable beds ever created. I think I will sleep on the floor tonight. I popped into Student Housing to cancel my apartment in university housing. The places in university housing are small and rather dingy, though Uzayr's flatmate Billy seems pleasant.

After a quick ride on the subway downtown, I grabbed breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts near Canal Street. There I learned Golden Rule 1:

Thou shalt not eat things that include eggs in bagels for breakfast; yea, for the eggs shall be processed from powder.

I caught the train back uptown to return just in time for what I thought was the only session of the day (but was actually a minor session relating to maintaining immigration status in the US). I ducked out afterward to head back to the apartment to see if my laptop had arrived. Lo and behold, it had. What I was bewildered by was that FedEx had seen fit to leave it in the doorway of the apartment and disappear. At that point I learned Golden Rule 2:

Verily, that which applies in South Africa need not apply in New York.

After opening my laptop I rushed back to campus to meet Nisha to go look at our new apartment on 85th. It is pretty amazing, having been renovated from a gutted building - lots of light, exposed brick walls, lots of cupboard space. Strange how I'm already calibrating for NY - by Joburg standards it is small, cramped and adjacent to a busy street. It's also a fifth-floor walkup - let's pray none of us gets any leg injuries in the next 16 months.

We've all been somewhat gouged on the rent, and I'm amazed at how expensive everything here is. The strangest part for me is how whenever the realtor is confronted with evidence of how backward and nonsensical certain practices are (such as paying 3 months rent plus 15% brokerage fee, or that rent has to be paid by cheque and US banks don't do EFTs), his response is a casually contemptuous "This is New York", with the clear emphasis being that us non-locals are too rural or naive to understand. It makes me wonder to what extent us "big city folk" in urban areas in South Africa adopt the same jaded cynicism towards the well-meaning bumbling of rural or poorly educated persons in South Africa. If my mounting frustration with the realtor, and my indignation at his contempt are anything to go by, life in Johannesburg must be a bewildering and exasperating experience for many migrants.

Anyhow, we signed the lease, which is costing us approximately $1400 per month each. For those lacking calculators, the conversion is as follows:

$1400 =

R12000
One arm and one leg, and part of one kidney
The soul of one's firstborn
The world's supply of ramen
1200 times the value of the total Steve Hofmeyer album sales in the world in 2012.

After finally signing the lease (weird that they pricked our fingers - this whole signing in blood thing must be a local custom), Nisha and I grabbed a burger and beer at 5 Napkin Burgers. Pretty good, and seriously upmarket for a burger joint. I also got The Parlour pointed out to me - apparently Rugby Happy Hour is popular with the students, where we can go watch rugby and drink cheap beer. To think - heaven has been on earth all this time...

I dropped into the International Student's Orientation drinks on the way home, and met a few folk (who seem universally nice and somewhat nervous with meeting so many people), and then was overcome with exhaustion. It seems that jetlag has caught up with me, so I'm hopping into bed shortly.

I miss you all, and I love you all (especially you, Jo). I'll try to keep updating this blog, though 2 posts in 2 days is setting a precedent I doubt I will maintain.

Jono

View from the stairs up onto the back of campus